(Second Edition) © 2000, 1998 Neil
F. Neimark, M.D.
Excerpt From Chapter 1: A PERSONAL STORY
About twenty years ago, during my internship in family medicine, I was under the most extreme emotional and physical stress I had ever known. I had left my friends in Ohio to begin my medical training in Baltimore. The work schedule was grueling and there was little time to make new friends or socialize. I felt alone, homesick and unhappy. As a result, I became emotionally depressed and developed a severe case of infectious mononucleosis, inflammatory hepatitis and hemolytic anemia, requiring hospitalization and nearly two months of bedrest. That single event redirected the course of my life. Realizing first hand how emotional pain, spiritual distress and physical strain can precipitate illness in the body, I committed myself to seeking out ways to help others avoid suffering the same fate.
In my search for practical ways to process emotional stress before it creates physical illness, I came across the technique of journaling. I quickly discovered that journaling provided me a way of expressing my emotion and releasing my stress so that I was strengthened by the experience, rather than depleted by it. Journaling became my emotional exercise, my psychological work-out. I found myself feeling stronger; not with bigger biceps, but with better boundaries; not with more muscle, but with more love, compassion and forgiveness. Journaling gave me the ability to handle lifes inevitable stresses with greater equanimity and a clearer sense of who I was and what I wanted. Journaling kept me emotionally and spiritually fit, and the only equipment necessary was a pen and a piece of paper.
Since that time, I have devoted my life to helping others see the connection between their physical, emotional and spiritual health. I have come to realize that not only is there a connection, but, in fact, optimal physical health can only occur in the larger context of our emotional, mental and spiritual health.
As a family physician with a busy practice, I continue to be amazed at the number of physical problems that develop as a result of difficulties in our emotional and spiritual life. Every day patients come to my office with health problems stemming from exuberant stresses, inability to set boundaries, unresolved emotion and spiritual emptiness. From recurrent colds to chemical depression, these stresses create a burden too heavy for the physical body to carryresulting in physical illness and emotional pain.
We all have different thresholds for stress. Our body is made up of many different systemsmusculoskeletal, respiratory, gastrointestinal, cardiovascular, nervous, immune and moreeach linked, one to the other, like a chain. When there is too much stress on our systemwhether emotional stress, physical stress or spiritual stressit is like an overpowering force pulling on both ends of the chain. Something has to give, something has to break. We all have a weak link, a weak system, which breaks under stress.
For some of us, it is a break in the immune systemcausing recurrent colds, allergic reactions, susceptibility to infection, exacerbation of autoimmune disease or even an increased risk for certain cancers. For others, it is a break in the nervous systemcausing anxiety, chemical depression, migraine headaches, twitching eyelids or insomnia. A break in the cardiovascular system may lead to palpitations, shortness of breath, or even precipitate congestive heart failure or a heart attack. A break in the musculoskeletal system may lead to recurrent back aches, sciatica, tendinitis or muscle weakness. A break in the gastrointestinal system may lead to worsening of irritable bowel syndrome, bloating, maldigestion, constipation or diarrhea.
Many times, we are unaware that these stresses are connected to our physical health. I developed this handbook so that my patients could learn simple ways to process their physical, emotional and spiritual stress before it creates illness and in a way which leads to greater health and healing. This handbook introduces a variety of self-help journaling techniques with which we can begin our own unique healing process. This healing process leads us into an examination of our emotional pain and spiritual stress so that we may find ways out of our pain and begin to heal our hurts, forgive our inadequacies and rekindle the love and essential worthiness that lie within each one of us.
We are all wounded in some waywhether by genetics, family circumstance, illness or misfortune. Likewise, in some way, we all intuitively craveand deserveto be whole, to be healed. We feel our emptiness, the voids in our life, our "not-enough" places, and seek to fill them with meaning, worthiness and a measure of fullness. This is the healing process: the drive to mend our broken places and become whole again. In seeking to be whole, we inevitably embark on a journey that leads us into our own sense of utter uniqueness, into our own adventure of self-discovery.
Excerpt From Chapter 2: HEALTH AND HEALING
Both health and healing derive from the root word, "whole," to be one. Most of us think of health as something we achieve when we find a cure for some particular disease or illness. In this context we think of health as a physical cure. When we move beyond a cure, we move into the healing process, which is about our physical health and our emotional, mental and spiritual health. In this sense, healing becomes anything that moves us towards a greater sense of wholeness, acceptance (of self and others) and inner peace. Gerald Jampolsky M.D., psychiatrist and author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear, defines health as "inner peace," which comes from an inner sense of unity and wholeness. So we see that while perfect physical health is unattainable, healing (on an emotional and spiritual level) is always available to us. Lets look at the different types of healing.
Healing the body.
Imagine for a moment the picture of a physical cut. When we cut ourselves, we first notice the pain which brings our attention to the cut. In that attention, we clean the wound and bring the edges together. In this coming together the healing process begins. The healing itself is a mystery. Bernie Siegel, M.D., Yale surgeon and author of Love, Medicine and Miracles, says, "as a surgeon, I cut into the body and I rely on it to heal. I dont have to yell into the wound and tell it how to heal." The body, in its own infinite wisdom, knows how to heal. We rely on the body to heal. All we need to do is be willing to bring the edges together, to close the gap, to transcend the isolation. In fact, anything which helps us transcend isolation (from self or others) begins the healing process and moves us towards greater health, wholeness and inner peace.
Healing the mind.
When we speak of the mind, we speak of the world of the unseen: the world of thought, feeling, attitude, belief and imagination. The field of mind/body medicine teaches us that these unseen energies manifest in our physical body, affecting our physiology and biochemistry. Lets look, for example, at how the healing process occurs at the level of the mind, specifically our emotional healing.
Remember that healing is anything that helps us transcend our isolation (from self or others), anything that helps us to close the emotional gap we may be feeling. Perhaps we are holding deep anger or resentment towards others. By taking steps to transcend the isolation we feel (perhaps by communicating honestly or finding a place of forgiveness or setting appropriate boundaries so that we wont be hurt again), we activate the healing process and move towards emotional healing. Or perhaps we are holding excessive guilt or anger towards ourselves. By taking steps to transcend our self-imposed isolation (perhaps by making amends for the hurt we have caused our self or others, or by finding a place of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance) we begin the emotional healing process.
Healing the spirit.
Healing also occurs on a spiritual level. What would that be? Anything which helps us to close the gap between who we are and who we aspire to be in terms of a greater purpose in life. Anything which closes the gap between our sense of inner aloneness and some sense of connection to something greater than ourselves. As we transcend our essential aloneness by developing a relationship to something greater than ourselves (God, a higher power, a higher purpose, a sense of meaning in life, a sense of community) we begin our spiritual healing.
John Bradshaw, author of Healing The Shame That Binds Us, says that the very basis of our spirituality is the permission to be human, to know that we will make mistakes, that we have limitations. Being human means coming to terms with our imperfections and limitations. In so doing, we are reminded that there is something greater than ourselves.
When we allow ourselves to be imperfect, to be human, we transcend the isolation that comes from believing we must be superhuman in order to be loved. Coming to terms with our limitations is closing the gap between what we believe we must do in order to be worthy and the natural inheritance of worthiness that is ours just because we are human, just because we are a child of God. Remember, we are human "beings" not human "doings."
Health is a mystery.
If we look at just the physical level, health is a mystery. Certain children are born with life threatening disease or cancer or AIDS. Certain people contract fatal disorders and die. We never really know what level of physical health is available to us. Genetics and environmental threats can affect our physical health unexpectedly, without fairness or warning. Norman Cousins, author and humanitarian, says "Not every illness can be overcome . . . but there is always a margin within which life can be lived with meaning and even with a certain measure of joy, despite illness."
This is most profoundly demonstrated in the groundbreaking work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross M.D., on death and dying. What she discovered is that a tremendous amount of healing occurs in and around the time of death. On some level, illness awakens us to our unfinished business and helps us move closer to our own wholeness.
Healing is always available.
Beyond a physical cure, healing is always available to us. In any moment we can activate our healing system by making those choices which help us transcend isolation (from self and others), affirm life and move towards a greater sense of acceptance (of self and others), wholeness and inner peace.
Excerpt From Chapter 3: WHAT IS JOURNALING?
Journaling is, quite simply, the process of putting words to our thoughts and feelings, and placing these words on the written page. Writing the words on paper (or typing them on the word processor) is vital because it moves the energy out of our bodyfrom the unseen world of thought, feeling, attitude, belief and imaginationto the seen world of physical form. This is important because all healing and creative growth helps make the unseen, seenthe invisible, visible.
There are many paths to healing. Journaling is one. Journaling gives us a set of tools with which we can explore our deepest beliefs, values, thoughts and feelings in order to transcend our isolation, transform our fear and heal our sense of unworthiness. Journaling helps us heal by revealing our emptiness and exposing our pain to the healing balm of meaning and purpose. Journaling helps us heal by revealing our fullness, our abundance, thereby restoring our innate sense of wonder and worthiness.
For healing to occur, we must find meaning in our pain. Journaling helps us discover the meaning in our pain, the purpose in our sufferingleading us to love, compassion and a recognition of our essential sacredness.
How does journaling help us?
Life is difficult at times. We all come to realize that we have no immunity from pain and loss. Sometimes, things just dont work out. Situations dont go our way. People dont respond the way we would like them to. We contract illness. We lose people we love.
Journaling helps us get through the difficult times. Journaling helps us find meaning in our pain. Journaling keeps us from becoming bitter and resentful by allowing us to process our emotions and come to know the truth of who we are and where we are going. Journaling helps us find the strength to love well in the very midst of our difficulties. Journaling keeps us from going numb in response to our pain and suffering.
Journaling is a way by which each one of us can find our own unique answers to lifes difficult questions. Journaling provides a way for us to enter into our pain and suffering and find the deeper meaning within it. Sometimes our pain seems senseless and tragic and we can only learn to become stronger from it. Sometimes our pain is a message that we need to wake up, to reevaluate our values, choices, relationships, attitudes and beliefs.
Journaling is a tool that helps us grow. Journaling strengthens us, and allows us to consciously go into our fears, hurts and unresolved pain and come out with greater strength, awareness and hope. Journaling helps us make peace with the often hidden and conflicting parts of ourselves, thereby transcending our isolation and initiating the healing process. Journaling transforms us, helping us find within ourselves that spark of divinity that turns our wounded and painful parts into opportunities for beauty, growth and love.
Journaling reveals the love and strength within us.
Love has been likened to the rainswhich give lifeand the waters, which soothe our thirst for connection and meaning. Love is fluid, and like the fluid waters, takes many shapes. Strength is the container that gives shape to our love. Love without strength is like being surrounded by rain but having no water to drink. Strength without love is empty, rigid and dry.
Journaling leads us to our strength. Journaling leads us to our love. In this life, our love requires a container to hold it, to capture its elevating qualities, to give it shape and form and boundaries. We build a strong container by defining our boundaries, our limits, and our humanness. Journaling helps us define our boundaries and build for ourselves a strong container capable of holding the love that is available to us.
Journaling helps us create a more beautiful world.
Developing greater love, awareness, understanding and illumination of spirit is the job we have, in partnership with God, in creating a more beautiful world in which to live. This cannot be done with positive thinking alone. Journaling helps us weed out our negative emotions and cultivate the positive, enabling us to more actively participate in good and kind deeds, treat others with respect and love, and live our personal and professional lives with integrity and honesty. This is the work of love.
We have a responsibility to break through the barriers of our own self-delusion and come to see the truth about ourselves. Journaling helps us build the strength of character and resolve needed to address the complicated and difficult issues facing our world and our humanity. Journaling helps us find and develop our true strength of character, so that we may defend the values we cherish.
Journaling helps us heal. Journaling helps us take responsibility for the harm we have caused others. Journaling helps us find the compassion we need to forgive those who have harmed us. Journaling helps us find the compassion we need to forgive ourselves. Journaling helps us uncover our purpose for being, our own unique unrepeatable path in this life. Journaling helps us trust in ourselves and find strength and solid ground in a world filled with too much deception, delusion, denial and ignorance.
Journaling is our inner work that leads us to inner wealth, riches and security that can never be taken from us. This inner work does not pay us in legal tender, coins or gold, but rather in strength of character, wisdom, love and compassion. These are the currencies of the spiritual world, which allow us to prosper, grow and nourish ourselves and our loved ones.